Where does the time go?

Has is really been five months? I just took an online quiz that says I am a romanticist. I believe in enjoying the simple things in life. If life were simple, chapter 4 would have been written five months ago! :-) Hmmm.... maybe I am confusing simple with easy. Yes, that must be it. I've written that chapter at least half a dozen times and I'm still not happy with it. Fortunately, I have come to realize why. I'm writing two chapters at the same time. I did not realize it until now. I have to break down the events and decide which ones will go into each chapter. This is easier said than done, but I am determined to let this story take me wherever it wants to go.

I have another dilemma. This is a personal one. I have the opportunity to reach out to someone from my past, but fear is keeping me from doing it. Part of me is wondering if I even have the right to try to establish contact with him or if I should just let it go. Been pondering this for about three weeks with no solution presenting itself yet.

Fear is what keeps so many of us alone. The sad thing is that we realize what I'm doing and haven't tried to change because, ironically, its fear of change that is my problem to begin with! I realized this about two years ago and here I am in the same boat. I don't know what to say except that I do not handle change well. I don't rage and get violent, but I do withdraw. I crawl deep into my personal place of safety and I stay put until the coast is clear and everything goes back to what it was like before or at least as close to it as possible.

I wonder what this makes me. Wimpy? Foolish? Honest? I just wish I had answers.